The Rhythm of Love

Lord I know and see you, I also see Satan scrambling to bring me down. Lord I am broken, beaten and bitter; though through it all you make me better, and my day brighter. Today I pray you continue to fight by my side to make me braver. Take my heart and break it, take my will and bend it, take my soul and brand it with your name, and only yours.  " His power is absolute, His understanding is unlimited." Psalm 147:3

I think there is something that everyone struggles with, baggage. Your past, what you have done, here you have been and the memories of things you wish you could erase forever. With the shameful regrets and painful memories comes a fear of acceptance by peers and companions in life. Having to share old feelings and grimacing reminders isn't something we look forward too. Will that person walk away? Will they judge me and conclude that my past is something they will remember in the future? Lets answer this simple question, has anything we have EVER done not been forgiven by our Lord and savior? NO. So here is the key to wiping away the anxiety of our sinful nature, if we repent, truly ask to be healed and molded away from who we are, the past is the past. The one who you will marry, and be with forever will love you for WHO you are now and NOT where you been. That is the beauty of hardship, sinning and making mistakes teach us so when the timing is right in His eyes we are ready for...

We live in  a world filled with quick fixes...bored? Turn on the television. Tired? Pop in a 5 hour energy pill. The word patient doesn't really look like something society is bent on practicing. Why wait when an antedote is right around the corner? In the world of Christianity, patience is such a virtue, something meant to be practiced and worked on. But there is something that most get confused on when it comes to patience. It does not mean seeing something you desire, then sitting and waiting twiddling your thumbs in anxiety. When you recognize something you desire or want, God don't sit back...take action towards Christ. Pray  right then and there,  hurrying to Him not for a quick fix to what you want, rather the right desires for what you need. Don't look at the long road ahead, look at every step your taking right now and how our precious Lord helps us lift every step we take. No matter how unstable the path may be, He is there.

I go through the same cycle every day, asking the same infuriating questions followed by the long, drawn out silence from God. Im constantly looking, seeking, pondering, begging desperately for the answers to why things happen the way they happen. And even why Im suffering the way I am, when do I get a break? The truth is... we may never known, if we were to have the map of our lives given to us at this moment, the impact of merciful blessings and undying faith would cease to exist. Think about it logically for a second, would we really need to rely on our sisters and brothers or anyone at all if we knew our future? Our ability to believe and follow a miraculous savior would be like a rope being cut, frayed and weakened with every stroke of all our questions being answered. We would thank Him for the blessings, but forget the power of hardship in its entirety, and blessings would become normal life. Beautiful moments wouldn't be recognizable.What Im trying to say is that I get it, ...

Recently I have had a lot of conversations circling around one issue... " Why am I not getting what I want? Im doing everything right even when its hard..its not fair." Well honestly thats a good question, and I find myself doing the same thing no matter what. And the more you let the actions of others bother you, the more every little dissapointment hurts. Your sensitivity level to rejection and dissapointment reaches an all time high. When you reach this place, and your patience is wearing thin, sometimes its almost impossible to believe you can go on any further. But really...the question you need to ask yourself is, is what I believe I deserve REALLY what God knows I need? Personally I have been praying for God to give me something I yearn for so much, a desire I see others around me being fulfilled with all the time, and it really gets to me sometimes. I get angry..throwing my hands up in pure confusion at why I seem to be the only one who isn't allowed what I deserv...

I highly recommend to you a daily devotional called "Jesus Calling." This is not your regular everyday Jesus piece..it is Him speaking understood words of knowledge to us, feeding our faith and trust in His every day challenges gifted unto us. Most recently, in fact todays bit of knowledge begged a very instrinsic question. Here first is Todays Jesus Calling,  "Sit Quietly in My presence while I bless you. Make your mind like a still pool of water, ready to receive whatever thoughts I drop into it. Do not wear our self out by worrying aboyt whether you can cope with the pressures. Keep looking to Me and communicating with Me, as we walk through this day together. Take time to rest by the wayside, for I am not in a hurry. A leisurely pace accomplished more than a hurried striving. When you rush, you forget who you are and Whose you are. Remember that you are royalty in My Kingdom."  So much of this quote speaks of something we so often tell each other to do..but si...

Family...Im not afraid to admit that I have taken advantage of family..always having them behind you as a safety net, the ones who will always love you no matter what happens. So here is to the people that I love the most and would be lost without. Alaina, Lainy Lou, you are without a doubt the most peaceful person I know, there is an era about you that no one can deny. I am proud to call you family, though sometimes I may not show it I cant imagine a day without you. You are such a ray on sunshine to me, and everyone else you know. In our journey together you have touched me in ways you will never know, watching you grow up is a blessing, an absolute blessing to see someone flourish like you have and will continue to. You are a dedicated, hard working, faithful, trusting person who I can only aspire to be like. I love you so much, and I don't deserve you as a part of my life. You are so worthy and worth so much, Im hard pressed that you will find a boy that can match your amazi...

I may write on trust, hope, faith and love (which I personally have never experienced) in relationships. And then some on life, but this is a blog right? So Im going to feed into that and use it as a crutch to get a little personal. Though many of my blogs come from experiences and things I have witnessed I never talk about a personal experience in my life. This past school year wasn't what anyone would call a typical college year. I used to think that playing a sport was the most physical and mentally wearing activity in life you could have. That was before relationships and such who met me at the door of college my freshman year. Having not dated much in high school, and always being consumed by sports I found it easy to slide by under the radar of social life and the problems that ensued. I turned down the opportunity to play basketball and Wheaton because I knew school would be a feat in itself, and that has turned out to be very true. But not only that, I was in experienced wi...

Quick question, what happens to a plant when one of its stems is broken off or separated from the root and plant itself? It’s an obvious answer…it consistently dies every time. This is the perfect analogy for our relationship with Christ, but why? John 15 explains it best, God says directly that,               “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2  He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3  You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4  Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.”               Lets pick this verse apart branch by branch…no pun intended. God is the true vine, our life and blood and his...

Most of us have heard or read about the fictional tale of the Illiad and the Odyssey. Odysseus and his heroic travels lead us to many important truths. At one point Odysseus and his group find themselves in a predicament involving a large and angry Cyclopse. The men begin to conjure up an escape route, and in conclusion decide to clothe themselves in sheep's wool. To conceal themselves to escape from the ugly and terrifying, things that could hurt or harm them. Isn't this true of life itself?  We are so eager to fit in, striving to be what society and culture expects us to be and do. The pastor of my church once said, "Free grace is not a license to sin." Hiding our bad habits and dark secrets while looking perfect on the outside manipulates us to feel us to feel normal, accepted and clean. Though we can sometimes successfully hide these things from our earthly peers, we cannot hide them from Christ, he sees us through our sheep's clothing, no matter how this it i...

Like Daniel in the bible, it is not hard to picture ourselves in a very similar situation as his without the actual lions and cave. There are times in our lives we feel alone, empty, confused in a dark whole of panic, distress and anxiety. The “lions” that surround us are our emotional, social, physical and educational challenges, waiting with hungry eyes to devour us. Without a doubt sometimes it would be easier to let them swallow us whole, and succumb to what Satan seems to badger us with.   We look up and see the bright beautiful sky of hope, but no ladder nor rope to help us get to the peace and glory we are promised. LOST is the perfect word when we figure out we cannot do this ourselves, that is takes a perfect being to complete this task. God says in Daniel 6:16, “ Thy God whom thou servest continually, He will deliver thee.” Even when the missions and burdens of our lives seem to be like the very walls and darkness of a cave, Christ’s hands and His power alone can li...

Relationships. Not only can we complain and get angry over guy/girl relationships..but what about our friends? Friendships are rough, tumulous boats that sometimes never seem to be calm or easy to be in. Not one friendship will ever be perfect, but when is it time to call it quits? This question begs another, what is worth fight for or letting go? Its not easy to depict an exact answer as the Lord above is capable of anything and everything. But there is an action that is key to a good, God blessed friendship. INTENTION. Why? Webster's dictionary defines intention as: "an aim or a plan." Have you ever thought to wonder if you have an aim or a plan for your friendships? Where you want them to lead and what you personally will do to get there? Odds are no...not even I began to ponder this question until recently. Lets break it down to the basics, a friendship is a mutual connection between two people for support, leadership, love, faithfulness, loyalty and trust. But it is ...

Think about what you fear most. A friend of mine has an errational fear of birds, me? Things that crawl towards me....yes I know thats weird. But is it not true that more often than not these fears bind us the world? When we fear we are acting in the opposite manner of what God intended, when we fear we are in the world and of it. What Christ calls us to do and wants for us is to move out of the house of fear and into the house of love. How though when fear grips us so tightly and seems so righteous and real? We must look at what we hold so tightly and realize that letting go of our possesiveness helps us find a place of peace. Christ says so profoundly in the book Matthew "Do not be afraid...I am the God of love who invites you to receive gifts of joy and piece and gratitude the poor have discovered, and to let go of your fears so that you can start sharing what you hoard." When we find ourselves in a place of fear, sometimes silence is the best medicine. Taking a moment ami...